Date #17

It had been a while since I had a blind date. I met this women through Facebook and she was looking to meet new people. I told her about my project and we quickly set something up.

I let her pick the place and we ended up at a more traditional Belgian family restaurant. We sit down and almost immediately hit it off. She recently ended a relationship and clearly is looking to expand her social circle as part of the “moving on” process. A casual non-romantic date is exactly what she was looking for. We talk a bit about jobs and hobbies. It turns out she runs a store that I occasionally have been to. She tells me some horror stories about dealing with customers. I used to run a cybercafé so I can relate.

We also discuss dating and my project, as usual. It is always striking how different the dating experience is for women and for men. Her post that made me ask her on a date also got her tons of creepy responses. One guy contacted her out of the blue and asked if she wanted a massage at his place. When she declined he told her something akin to “well it is weird that you do not like to be touched”, completely oblivious to how terribly inappropriate that was. I also posted a message about my project in that same group, asking for dates. I got zero responses.

In the dating world a woman gets tons of responses but has to have a really good filter in place to avoid the creeps. As a guy you are always the asking party and you have to get past those filters. She tells me she is happy to meet a normal man.  It takes a while for that statement to sink in. I take it to mean that “normal” means “does not act horribly inappropriate”. I start to wonder just how many of those guys are out there if her experiences have caused her to put the bar that low.

We are not done talking when we are done with the food so we go for drinks. She is a lot of fun to talk to and I am enjoying a casual and relaxed date. She mentions she never gets hit on in real life: I do not really get why that would be. She is young and attractive with a lovely smile. I spent most of the evening trying to make her laugh. I tell her I think she might be giving off a subconscious “do not mess with me” vibe that wards off strangers. She says I might be right, she has heard that from others as well.

I tell her more about myself and try to entertain her with some of my more amusing anecdotes (which will remain private, sorry readers). I had a long week and an intensive weekend and I start to get tired. We call it a night but agree to meet again sometime. Another very lovely evening spent in good company!

Food: Chicken fillet and fries at Domus (around €20). This is a large and very popular tavern with decent if somewhat traditional fare. After visiting so many other restaurants and cuisines I felt this place lacked intimacy and flavour. It is better suited for families and large groups than for a date because of the sheer size of the room. Maybe I finally am starting to become a bit more picky about where I eat.



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