Halfway there! Looking back…

I originally intended to write an update every ten posts, but things have been a bit hectic. Now that I have reached the halfway point it is time to take a look back and see how this project evolved from its original vision.

The Idea

I started the project thinking it would be an interesting and fun experience. It would push me to keep meeting new people. I like talking to people and getting to know them and this just seemed like it would be a lot of that. I talked it over with a few friends and decided I would go for it. I designed the rules to make it clear what my intentions were: just having fun meeting new people with no ulterior motive or expectations.

Starting the project

I had no idea if it would actually work. I tried several different approaches to increase my social circle and meet potential dates.

For starters I increased my Facebook presence and set up this blog. It was kind of a big step because it made it “official”. My friends and family are on Facebook. It is always scary to put yourself out there like that. Once I went public I was committed to seeing the project through.

I made a Tinder profile. I wrote about my dislike for Tinder in a previous post, so I won’t rehash that here. I might have gotten better results if I invested time in a better picture.

I also signed up for Crossfit classes. They are coached group gym sessions focusing on the core gym exercises like Deadlifts and Squats. They force you to do intensives exercises at a really high speed. I failed to meet any new people there: there is simply no time to socialize. I keep going 3 times a week because I really notice the improvements. I feel stronger and fitter.

I knew I would be able to get a few dates from the Salsa scene. This turned out to be the best source of dates. I prefer asking face to face anyway. I am very experienced with digital communication but nothing beats straight up talking to someone in person.

I tried some Facebook dating groups as well. None of those resulted in any dates.

About the dates

You would think that meeting a new person every week would get old. It really doesn’t. The date reports might look similar to one another. It is true that we just sit and talk, but the experience is always different. I love talking to people and finding out what their lives are like.

I do try and keep in touch with my dates after that first date. I have met many interesting people that way and some of them I consider good friends now. This is not the goal of the project but I will happily accept this bonus.

Stuff that is not working

My main problem is the rule I had about doing something different every time. I added it as last minute change because it seemed like a cool challenge at the time. It has forced me to go to restaurants I normally would not have visited. I consider that a pretty good thing.

The problem is that these are all essentially first dates. When you make plans with a woman you barely know, you do not invite her to come to your place for dinner. This is just common sense: most women think twice before accepting an invite like that. It is easiest for both of us to just set up a date at a public place.

It is also a lot harder to make other plans with a person if you don’t know them. You don’t want to do something that takes the focus away from getting to know one another. Or that only one of us enjoys doing.

So I am dropping this rule. I will still try to visit places I have not been to. I just don’t want to make it harder for me to get dates because of a non-essential rule I added for no good reason. I still try and do fun activities but they are second-date material.

I also don’t like that the date posts are becoming repetitive. I will try and find some way of keeping things fresh while still respecting my date’s privacy. That guest post was a nice touch: it was one of the most popular posts and I didn’t even write it myself.

Stats

To answer a common question: where do I actually meet these women?
Salsa 8
Friends 4
Other 2
Tinder 1

Dates that actually were on time: 4 out of 15.
People I planned second dates with that actually happened: 4 out of 15.
Dates I am still in contact with on a regular basis: 10 out of 15.

Blog views: around 3000 from 1250 unique visitors. This is according to WordPress: the actual number of visitors is probably a bit lower but I still consider this incredibly high. I had not expected this many people to read about my little project.

So that is the story so far. Thanks to all of you for reading my blog! I did not anticipate the many positive responses I got. I really appreciate the support.

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