Date #11

Last week’s date cancelled because she wasn’t feeling well. That meant I had to skip a week, sorry for the delay.

I was not feeling well when I went to meet her. I went to the gym right before and I really had trouble keeping up the pace. Even cycling to the restaurant was tough. My legs felt like jelly and it was horribly cold.

I forgot about all of that once we start talking. She has recently gotten out a long relationship and is still adjusting to single life so we talk about that for a while. She has never been single as an adult before. When you have a partner, you usually have plans for the future: she clearly lacks those now. I can relate. I went through something similar when I broke up with my first girlfriend. After the initial impact and dealing with the immediate emotional backlash you get the second wave of doubts.

Everyone knows you have to move on with your life but that is easier said than done. You are so used to having a partner around that not having that someone makes you feel isolated, insecure and lonely. There is no one to fall back on when you are having a weak moment. There is just you.

Being single has its benefits too, of course. You have full control over your life at all times. You can alter your plans in a heartbeat if you feel like it and you have plenty of free time.

She is realizing that as well. She seems to be enjoying her new-found liberty, just like I am. She has projects going on of her own: she wants to lose weight and is working towards that. She tells me she lost weight: 10kg so far. She is aiming to lose another 10kg in 3 months and another 10kg after that. I consider that:  it is possible but fairly hardcore and will require plenty of determination and resolve. I mention that it is great to be working on something like that.

I can’t help but look at her body during that conversation. She is young and attractive. She does not need to lose weight to be good-looking. She wants to lose twenty more kilograms but I doubt that would be even be possible. I decide to let it go: she wants to lose weight and is determined to do so, so she should. She is probably doing it for the same reason that I work out: it gives you a feeling of control over your body. You put in the effort and you get rewarded with a healthier, more attractive version of you. It also comes with the added effect of being more confident because you have worked hard and achieved something.

So I change the subject. We talk about hobbies and pets. He has cats and a dog. When my girlfriend moved out I missed the cats a lot. Actually I still do. I even considered getting a cat so the house would be less empty. I decided against getting one because I am never home these days.

We chat for a few hours. She is fun to hang with, and when I make a joke I am rewarded with a cheerful smile. We make plans to stay in touch, concluding another fun date!

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Lunch: Ristorante Pronto: Penne alla Basca, around €15-20 at Ristorante Pronto in Munstraat in Leuven. Cheap and simple but very tasty, like a good Italian dish is supposed to be.

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